Godard had Karina, Antonioni had Vitti, Pabst had Brooks, I like to think I had… Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I first encountered the flicker “Lost and Delirious” in Cincinnati. It was the rainy spring of myself induced exile. You see I had enough of the yucka yuck of Los Angeles, I was extinguished, and uninspired, and for the 1st time in my life my love of film was dull, and flat. But I was in love, madly deeply in love with a gal, a ever encompassing, all engrossing, devouring kind of love. At twenty eight you think I was to old for that, but not I.
We met on Hollywood and Highland one rainy night (it’s true, I wouldn’t lie to you my dear friend…only the facts!), now her… well she was from Europe, and she came to Lalaland to live out her dreams of singing. She had a really terrible childhood…really grim, and all that shit. My love of film excited her…and the fact that she was excited, excited me. We got excited a lot together, but we were of a beaten generation and I was attracted to her sad girl ways. And me, well I was twenty eight.. and I was two steps from twelve… less than zero. And she too, was in a situation as well… none too pretty.
So we were some kind of modern day Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrel, a real today band of outsiders.
Skkkiipp ffffoorward and we were spent on Los Angeles, it just wasn’t kind to us. So we made plans to skip town and head out east (or at least the edge of middle Ameriyucka). She wanted a house in the country, and I wanted some kind of a calm and security that my own life and childhood never provided me.
We decided to leave.
Just like that we were in motion (we knew better than to just stay in place, that’s for suckers). She went first by plane, I by car. So off I went. First stop; Arizona to see the familia. Then head down south to Texas; see my uncle (who at the time had a fatal case,) and cousins. Then up to Oklahoma, and trough the rest of middle Ameriyucka, then- KaPlowee!
Im in Oh-hi-o,
We fight! at god knows what and who knows why … I get jealous and decide to go live in New Yuck City. I have no real idea why, it musta been all those great New York movies I saw as a kid. ..Still trying to find that mystical land.
I’ve always wanted to live there. So hop in the Jeep. Head up towards Pittsburgh (which by the way Pennsylvania is easily the prettiest state there is in this country). On trough New Jersey. Then Kazaam! I’m in the little island. Spend some weeks there partying and meeting people, all the while, looking for a apartment. Only to be disappointed with the supposedly cool city.
Well let me tell you from first hand experience; New York is wack!
Straight-up lame, just a bunch of lames walking around. I mean it’s just rich people or rich kids going to school. All the real people (the dishwashers, the cooks, the people your not suppose to see) are all B&T’s (bridge and tunnel: people who take the bridge or tunnel to get into the city). They all live in New Jersey, or Brooklyn or some other place. It’s just like some Disney theme ride… nothing is left of it’s former glory. The days of the 70’s or 80’s, when New York had true grit, when the rich and the poor lived there; Scorsese’s New York is gone! :( only TRL is left to replace 42nd st…
As the sunsets and I’ve had all my fill, I stand by the dock and look at the skyline with it’s skyscrapers, and realize new york is dead.
I was too late to see it’s glory days, now I’m just looking at a theme park, which interests me not. I stand proud in the New York skyline, proud to be a Angeleno! To come from a city that has it’s poor and rich, side by side! A city that is angry and happy, fake and real, a city of true substance, I then realize I am from the Rome of our times: LOS ANGELES!
So pick up the pay phone receiver (yes! a pay phone, can you believe it! I had found one, and it was right near the dock of the city). The city lights twinkling off the river. Tone. Dial. Ring: “Hi I miss you”, “I miss you too, “why don’t you come back to Cincy?”, “Yeah I think that’s a good idea, I want to be with you in Cincy”.
So hop in the jeep. Back through Pennsylvania. Down Ohio, and stop just before I cross the border into Kenfucky. Live in car for a couple of weeks. Sleep in me girlfriends, ex-boyfriends flower shop at nights. It was called “Mi Flores”. Ironic ain’t it? The Flores boy sleeping on the floor of not his Flor. Shower at trucker stops by day, or at his gym (by which he nothing of, he thought she was there to get back with him). I was just a shadow.
Find apartment, get job, and then the humid days of summer fade.
A autumn like you’ve never seen comes. You take long walks. The masses of trees with their drifting autumn leaves. Orange, red, and brown shower down, confetti of a love parade. Hangout with friends, and her and you have the best of times & the worst of times… and then…
Days of snow…
The snow fell throughout the town, at first just a mist, then just enough to make the streets muddy …and then; one day am at the bar down the block, I’m having a drinky dink, thinka thinking about how the Bengals are gonna do really good this year. Game ends, me and my friends leave. It’s about 2:30 am now.
I walk out, there are no cars about. The streets are plied with massive amounts of snow. Fresh snow. No one’s walked on it yet. ….It’s just like one big pillow. So fluffy, SO fresh. The moon is full, and the snow shines. It’s unreal. These city eyes have never seen such a sight. It stings your smoggy eyes. You walk home and feel your in heaven.
Your the happiest in your life, you’ve ever been. The days of snow have begun. You and your girl have a dream like existence. Long walks in the crispy air, that chills the tips of your tippy toes, all the way up to the tip of your rosy nose. Bus rides trough the city looking out at the snow covered house’s that don’t resemble any style that you have back home. These house’s are not Spanish style, or not cookie cut 50’s suburban style. These are really old, and when I say really old, I mean way older than the 1920’s. And the buses aren’t crowded, windows all full of graffiti, these buses are empty and new, and feel like a home on wheels, nothing like the city back home.
We cuddle in cold evenings. Her watching Oprah Winfrey, me on the computer. Us both happy! The heater blasting. Lovely days, new year comes, and it’s spent baking brownies, watching a Morrissey concert DVD, no alcohol, no drugs, none of your common place antics. Then at 1:02 we go to bed. Grandma and Grandpa go nighty-night.
You catch a glimpse of happiness, as if it’s tangible and you happily tango with it. That happy couple you’ve always only seen… never known… is now you. At least you now know what it feels like to be a happy couple. You relish in the transitory bliss.
For you know tomorrow will surely come, and with it your same old ways. Your stripes will show eventually, my fine feathered friend.
See the people that are from the snow hate it, they cant wait for it to go away, so when it does and the days are warm, they come out and party, and you being the cityboy that you are, you cant resist an invitation to hangout with friends and live it up! You know; “Paint the town red”, and so you do.
Splashes of lipstick red.
You are back to fighting with each other now, it’s a real love and heartbreak kind of deal now. You love your job, and have tons of friends there, so you always have something to do. So you do. Which doesn’t conform to her country lifestyle that she wanted to live.
I thought when I moved to Cinti, I would be around a bunch of yokels kicking shit, but it’s not like that, there’s really cool people that are just like back home except there’s more trees, and no smog, and no traffic, and they all say I have an accent, and I’m like whatever I talk normal, it’s you guys that talk all country and shit, but other than that it’s a small city. Which in a way is kinda of cooler than a big city, cause you have your own space. Everywhere you go you run into friends. But she wanted to move to Kentucky or the border of Indiana, where it’s more country and your neighbors are a mile away.
You start to realize that you can take the boy out the city, but you cant take the city out the boy, but you know she hates this about you, and your so madly in love with her that you try to cover your spots, but they always show. So what do you do? Well you get jealous, cause you know there’s all these country boys out here, that can give here just the life she’s seeking, and your sinking, but you try to keep the boat afloat.
So one rainy day, you walk to your local blockbuster video down the street, past the really good sub-sandwich shop, that’s next to the really excellent Chinese food joint, that’s down from the vid store (God I use to rent videos all the time in Cincy, like five at a time, and watch them all in like two days and go back for more).
So you do your normal routine, which is to go to the Foreign section, then the Drama. Then New Releases, then back to Drama. Then Foreign, then Comedy, then Drama. And on and on, (I would like be in the store no less than like forty minutes, sometimes over an hour).
So on this day I cant find anything, but there’s this video that has always caught my eye, it has Piper Perabo from Coyote Ugly, which I liked, and the cover looks interesting, and I always see this DVD, it’s been like jumping out at me for like five months, but I always pass it cause I’ve never heard of it, and I think it’s probably some cheap stupid movie, cause I know everything that’s good, and I would of heard of it if it was good.
But today you cannot find nothing to rent so you grab it, knowing your probably wasting your money, that you probably wont be able to watch a minute of it.
Back in the rain. Past the really excellent Chinese food joint. Past the really good sub shop. Back home. Throw it on. Start cooking some food (cause you love cooking food on rainy days or snowy days, and today is one of those day). Your ex is living with her ex, and you feel hexed, you need nourishment.
So the flicker starts and you start to realize… this movie needs attention. You sit down. Watch it. And you realize you love Paulie! You are Paulie! You understand her… and the scene where she tells Mouse what’s up, you completely understand! …and it breaks your heart.
Now try explaining that you saw a movie, that explained exactly the way your love felt. How desperate you are to hold on to a love you felt was leaving you. But that the movie was a lesbian flick, and you identified with one of the girls.
Sometimes people are just to shallow and they cant understand shit. But I showed this movie to everyone that would watch, and never say how I identified with Paulie.
I never told my ex neither, but now I watch that movie and it reminds me of Cincinnati and The Days of Snow.
Life… is so weird. So uncontrollable, quite unpredictable. A tad… un-tangible… and if you squeeze to tight, the things you want, they go quicker away.
It’s a tricky business… holding on to love. But live and learn… and grow. For all the turmoil and effort, seemingly meaningless. Its really for the best. It’s all in the game of growing up. So much learned from my days of snow, that I look back and see a stranger of the kid I was once before, and is no more. Kerouac and Wolfe said it better, but we all feel as much as their letters. I just transcribe my particular, love young fetter.
P.S. It did not work out for me and mine. We split and it was none to pretty, but it remains a most meaning full event in my life.
Here’s a rad fan vid of lost and delirious along to the kate bush’s song “this women’s work”
and this cool fan vid: ."go fuck yourself sideways" ;)
Jesse Blake w/her photography award (which she was carrying in her purse)!
Riversage Billings Inn
Canon T2i. EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM
“Action” Jackson, my rambunctious nephew, @ his scocer game, thowing you’all a peace sign!
Canon T2i. EF 16-35mm f/2.8L II USM
Photo by: Prolast
The last Space Shuttle Launch, maybe in your lifetime. Such a beautiful site. You wish you coulda been there.
Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Fla. Launch Pad: Space Launch Complex Canon 5D MK2. Lens: ?
(Will Braden, dir.)
I f’n knew it! Cats are really just french existentialist who live a Nouvelle Vague kinda life. And thats why their my fav animals.
Days of reflection. Sometimes you feel ambition is not so great, and did we just waste our time…
Just a test having fun with making Logos. However, I definitly need to redo this logo, since the font looks like it reads: “Her Ghost F*ckers.”
Trust me it’s meant to read: “Her Ghost FLICKERS” Doh!
(Annablle Quezada, dir.) (Eliav Mintz, d.p.)
“Read so hard, I memorize, The Illiad… I know lines. Watch me spit, classic lit, epic poems that don’t rhyme. War and Peace, piece of cake, read Tolstoy in 3 days. Straight through, no delays. Didn’t miss a word. Not one phrase.”
A refreshing and light take on N*ggas in Paris. May not bump as hard, but more than witty and clever enough.
3 Films about passionate people. It’s through these individuals that we get a glimmer of passion. It’s infectious. It’s inspiring. We can be a better us, through what we love, we can break free from the limitations we’re told are present. And if we try hard enough we can enjoy the process, all the while. Yes we love our families, friends, pets, but we still need more, we all need to love what we do.
(Gereon Wetzel, dir.)(Josef Mayerhofer, d.p.)
(David Gelb, dir./d.p.)
(Sally Rowe, dir.)(Ronan Killeen, d.p.)
Passion for what we do, builds us up, expands us, and transcends us. No matter where we come from, what were told we cannot achieve, and no matter what prejudices come our way, our mental space is safe as long as we have, yes our families friends, and others, but also as long as we have passion for creation, what ever it is we create. Because when we create, we change the landscape.
“Your did not have to be constrained by your up-bringing your looks, or by the social context that oppressed you. You can call upon your own power of imagination and you can create a transformative self” -Bruce Springsteen
BATTLE ROYLE: IT’S A SHOOTOUT, DUCK FOR COVER!
The Camera that filmed our Dreams! CANON C300
Hide your kids, Hide your wife and hide your husband, cause these bad ass cameras are out roaming the streets! The video above is shot on the C300. This camera is off the charts. Scenes of this test footage were done with purely the moon, lighting the scene. You really got to give it to canon for this beautiful camera, ( We all know there are other cameras, such as the Scarlet-X or the Nikon D800, that are fierce competition, or may even be more practical, but this is the cam that has the “Look” that makes my knees buckle.) Compare this no light test footage, done without a production, to the big production Nikon D800 footage below & you can judge for yourself. Now granted there is a lot of differences between the cameras, and major price difference, but you know what they say; The heart wants what the heart wants …and so it must have. This is the camera we’ve been waiting for all our lives. The look of this cam, is right up our alley.
Video Stats: Canon C300; ISO 10,000 1/24 sec (24p), 50MM L 1.2 @ 1.4 or 1.2 for moonlit scenes. walking/tracking shot after the credits shot @ 20,000, 35mm f1.4. Go to vimeo website for further stats
Ok kids, time to act like grown ups! Here’s the bad news …the price …the price …well it’s ahem 16G’s. OH quit your whimpering! No one likes a baby! Bite your lip and walk it off. We can always rent, right?!
…P.S. the soundtrack on this vid is heart-achingly lame, so mute it and put on your on music.
Now time for some:
Fierce Competition! NIKON D800
And when we say fierce we mean fuc’in FIERCE! The Nikon D800 is a mean mean camera and should be treated with respect. With a 36.3MP FX-format CMOS Sensor it is packing some major pixels. An ISO equivalent of 100-25,600 is no joke either. Unfortunately it still stuck with 1280x720 for 60fps. But get this; we get all this for just 3,000 buck daddy! Now this is were the camera really sticks out above the rest, at least for right now. However what are us Canon users to do, when we’ve already collected a range of L Series lenses. Decisions, Decisions. As for this video, I find it a little much and a bit cheesy, but god damn those early motorcycle scenes are the cat’s pyjamas! And it seems that some of these scenes are low light, such as overhead shots of the motorcycle diving on the street with the only lighting being the street lamps. Impressive.
Video Stats: ? not listed
Here’s a behind the scenes look of the shooting of this mama-jammer:
… Is it just me, or is it a bit pretentious when a director goes just by one name?